31 Or So Work Friends: Birthday Giveback 2025

I love birthdays and I love using my birthday for good. Regular readers of this blog will know that each year on or around May 20, I find some way to give back to my community. We’ve been documenting them through The Smile Project blog for some time. 

The first formal #BirthdayGiveback was when I turned 22—my first birthday in New York City and my first birthday spent away from home. I spent 12 hours traipsing through Manhattan spreading kindness and planting a seed for how I’d spend my next decade of May 20ths. 

My 23rd birthday was about raising money for various charities—23 dollars to 23 different charities, to be exact. For my 24th birthday, I spent 24 straight hours—an Herculean midnight to midnight task—volunteering in what I called #24HourGiveNYC. For my 25th birthday, I orchestrated #25Cities25Acts, a worldwide day of giving that ended up reaching 39 cities, 6 countries, and 4 continents. 

When I turned 26, two months into the pandemic, I focused on #26ActsOfDigitalJoy, showing people how kindness could continue through social distancing. For my 27th birthday, newly vaccinated, I gathered a group of people in the park for a kindness rock painting party. For my 28th birthday, we ran a major fundraiser, supporting queer artists in the theatre industry. 

There was my 29th birthday where I asked #29people to share their perception and dreams for Smile Project. Last year, for my third decade, I crafted #30SmileReminders where I invited folks to pick from a list of 30 simple kindness activities for their community. 

But to be totally honest, this year? My birthday snuck up on me. Walking down memory lane in the paragraphs above, I felt inspired by the communities we’ve built for Birthday Kindness—so much so that we actually launched it as an official program of The Smile Project a few years ago to encourage others to do the same. But I hadn’t given any thought to 31.

Then, a couple weeks ago I came into my hybrid work office feeling pretty down. I’d been fighting off a head cold that turned into a lingering cough that turned into not sleeping that turned into me feeling perpetually miserable. Armed with cough drops and hot lemon water, I settled into a desk and started to read through emails. 

At some unrecognizable point of the day, however, something shifted. I found myself laughing a little. I found myself smiling a lot. I found that my day got better. And whose fault was that?

31 or so Work Friends

Okay my office is a little smaller than that but I wanted to roll with the age. I’m turning 31 next week and I will be traveling for a work conference when I do so. I’ll be spending my birthday not with my partner or my family but with 31 or so work friends. And, while some folks upon hearing this have given a sympathetic shrug, not once since the venue was booked have I felt any sort of way about it.

And that’s when I realized I don’t just love my job, I love my colleagues. I’m grateful to virtually or in person be surrounded by so many brilliant and dedicated people who care about making a difference in the world and who care about having vibrant and fulfilling lives outside the office. 

So who better to be on the receiving end of this year’s Birthday Giveback than #31orsoworkfriends. 

I’ve been scheming how to best celebrate the people who make my day and I’m really excited to share—in a few days—what that looks like. For now, though, I want to invite you to join me.

How can you show appreciation for your team next week? Let me count the ways.

• Offer to mentor a newer employee or seek mentorship yourself.

• Treat someone to a fancy coffee or tea, especially if you have an early morning meeting.

• Leave someone a reference or recommendation on LinkedIn.

• Step in when you see a colleague overwhelmed by a task and offer support.

• Talk up a coworker to their boss. Give credit where credit is due.

• Invite a colleague out to lunch.

• Take a genuine interest in the lives of the people you spend most of your day with.

• Give encouragement when someone confides in you about their dreams.

• Pay attention to see that everyone feels included and has a sense of belonging in your organization. 

• Tell them you appreciate them—not for their output but for who they are as a person.

• Bring in sharable treats for the office (and be mindful of dietary restrictions and allergies)!

• Leave notes of encouragement on a colleagues desk.

• Let people vent without trying to solve the problem. 

I’m calling this year’s challenge #31orsoworkfriends because—even though I’m turning 31 and love a number tradition—the “or so” serves as a reminder that even one act of kindness for one work friend can go a long way.

We invite you to participate in the 2025 Smile Project #BirthdayGiveback by doing some act of kindness for your current or former work friend(s) and sharing it on social media with the hashtag #31orsoworkfriends and #smilebirthdaygiveback. Everyone who participates will be entered to win a Smile Project candle. 

My last note. I was texting a friend about an unrelated event when she asked. “ALSO! Are you doing anything special for your birthday on Tuesday? Will there be a smile project give back this year?” 

I sincerely cannot imagine a better gift than someone associating my birthday with kindness, with giving, with joy, with love. 

Thank you for showing up for me year after year. All my love. For 31 and onward.