The New Year had me thinking a lot about goals, values, ambitions, motivations, life, and how excited I was to wear my new fuzzy socks. With all the talk of “look how far you’ve come in a year” and “can you believe that was only 1 year ago” I found myself even more reflective and nearly bubbling over with blog ideas – two of which involved writing about goals and values.
At my old job, we had a list of working norms – kind of like guiding values – and each day at our morning huddle, we would say what working norm we were focusing on that day. I loved that idea. I mean, obviously, in theory, you were living into every positive attribute every day you walked into the office, but how nice it was to really put your heart and soul behind one guiding value each week.
For this reason, I’ve decided to dedicate a new series of “Res” posts to my own kind of working norms – my own mini-resolutions. You don’t have to buy into any of these. You don’t have to make your own. But maybe at some point, it’ll make you think about what it would look like to radically change your life one week at a time.
Res 22: Open Up
I was talking to a friend the other day about how I’m a very open person. I was telling her that at some point, I just made the decision to be an open book. I am not shy with my emotions and I am willing to talk to anyone about anything at any given time.
I’m fully aware that this can get me burned and I’m not immune to the consequences of putting your heart out there. I have felt stomach-wrenching hurt after having trusted someone with an important part of my soul and being treated very differently as a result. I understand what it’s like to have your trust betrayed and to have your story misunderstood. I know what it’s like to be excited to share something deeply personal and then have it all explode back in your face.
I also know what it’s like to sit on your best friend’s floor, sharing heartbreak and realizing that your cosmic paths are far more intertwined than you could have possibly imagined. I know what it’s like to have someone say, “call me anytime” and really mean it. I know what it’s like to find an unexpected confidant in a person you never thought you’d feel so genuinely connected to.
I know it’s scary. Sometimes there are things so big we are at a complete loss of what to say or how to even begin to talk about it. It’s easy to feel small or ashamed or embarrassed. It’s hard to be vulnerable.
Embrace it. Embrace that nervous feeling and let your lips speak anyway. Tell your story. Share your pain. Open your heart. You don’t know whose life you could change with your words.
Resolution #22: Open Up
One of my favorite mantras in the entire world – and this is coming from someone obsessed with quotes – is “take that terrible thing that happened to you and make something beautiful out of it.”
I have always loved the idea of taking the thing that has destroyed you the most and using it to rebuild something even more beautiful. This is a never-ending process for me, the idea of turning pain into beauty, but it is something I urge you to work on this week. It won’t be easy, but I have to believe that it is worth it. I have to believe that sharing our stories is what makes us the most human. I have to believe that talking about things is the way we lessen the burden on our own brains.
Take a leap of emotional faith today. It might feel like a scrapped knees and shaky balance at first, but give it time. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your story. You don’t owe anyone an apology for opening up. You don’t owe anything to anyone but yourself. But you do owe this to yourself – you deserve to feel at peace with circumstance. Maybe the first step to that is trusting your heart. Maybe the first step is opening up about that scary thing.
I’ll be here if you want to talk.