Why Do We Do Things That Make Us Nervous?

I was recently at an event where college students had to pitch projects in front of an audience of their peers and faculty and anonymous-to-them judges. As I listened to the pitches, I also observed the students in the minutes leading up to their presentations and the moments after. There is an undeniable nervous energy in this.

Concurrently, I had my own nervous energy. I was applying for something I’ve spent a lot of my life thinking about and could feel myself vibrating with excitement as I prepared for my own presentation, so to speak. 

It was these two back-to-back events, feeling nerves on a personal level and also seeing them reflected back through younger versions of myself, that made me wonder why we do things that make us nervous in the first place.

Of course the easier thing is to not? The easier thing is to go through life comfortably. To say no to anything that makes your heart race. To not ask that person out on a date and to not take a beginner poetry writing class. To not sign up for a race and to not move to a new town. To not introduce yourself to a stranger and to not apply for your dream job. 

Oh it is certainly easy to stay in our comfort zone. 

But is that where we want to live?

Every life-changing decision I’ve made has terrified me. Moving to New York. Meeting random roommates. Ending a relationship. Starting a relationship. Starting a job. Quitting a job. Getting on the plane. Taking a chance. Getting rejected. Trying again. Failing. Learning. Growing. 

Oh have I been scared. But my goodness where would I be if I hadn’t been?

When I am nervous about something, I can feel my heart beating in my brain. (Anatomically, I’m sure the doctors have notes on that but stay with me.) If I’m really nervous, I can feel my stomach knot and my upper lip moisten at the same time my mouth dries.

But then there usually comes a moment—either 5 minutes into the decision or 5 years—where the nerves switch to euphoria. Where I think oh my gosh; I am actually doing this. Where I think okay this wasn’t so bad. Where my heart slows and my brain turns back on and my muscles relax and I know—I know on a deep, soul level—that I’m going to be okay. 

And on the other side of that? 

Well on the other side of that are some of my favorite experiences. Saying yes to the road trip. Saying yes to an interview. Saying yes to a date. Saying yes to my future.

There is, certainly, some sort of survival mechanism in place. This feels scary. Perhaps we should stay in our cave and wait for the gatherers to bring back berries. 

But my friends, we’ve evolved. And you have within you everything you need to plant entire gardens. 

The most radical thing I’ve ever done in my life was stay committed to showing up. Showing up when I’m unsure. Showing up when I have doubts. Showing up when staying home would be easier.

And this showing up is how we create our life. Not because it’s always the fastest or easiest or cheapest option. But because not doing it is a much, much higher price to pay. 

Our Happiness is worth something… and our futures, everything.