On The Topic of An Ex

The other day I was working at a coffee shop that happened to be playing music my ex would have loved. I couldn’t tell you any titles or artists but it was so clearly something he would have listened to and I felt, for a moment, like we were sitting in the coffee shop together. 

There are many reasons this is impractical. But I found in that moment a kind of knowing peace. Like the music was his and I got to take it out on loan for the afternoon. Or like I was browsing a museum of our memories—not in a longing sense but rather matter-of-factly. Not in a one-that-got-away sense but in a one-that-shaped-me sense.

And couldn’t that be said for all our relationships? Good and bad. Romantic and platonic. 

I didn’t think I liked avocado toast until a different ex made it for me. I still make it the same way now, all these years later. I have an article of clothing in my closet that I purchased for a first date that went nowhere. There are entire Jeopardy! categories I can sweep because of an ex’s planned career path. The best art I ever bought came from a craft fair I attended with someone I no longer speak to. 

Every relationship has influenced me and not only is that not a bad thing… but I would go as far as to say it is good. It is good to hold the people we’ve loved with us… even still… even now.

On the topic of an ex, I hope you are able to find peace. And so maybe some day, even decades away, a coffee shop playlist brings you the gentle nostalgia of another lifetime and another love.