I was talking to a friend the other night when they said something that reminded me of a quote I had long forgotten.
In the television show Modern Family, a character explains: “There are dreamers and there are realists in this world. You'd think the dreamers would find the dreamers and the realists would find the realists, but more often than not the opposite is true. You see, the dreamers need the realists to keep them from soaring too close to the sun. And the realists, well without the dreamers, they might not ever get off the ground.”
The past couple weeks leading up to that moment on the phone, I had been doing some heavy soul searching on this topic without realizing it. I was thinking about how my nature is to be open and honest and real and how somehow, subconsciously, parts of myself had closed off. I was defaulting to cynicism.
Apathy doesn’t look good on me.
The day after that conversation, I looked up the quote and found myself rolling it over in my head. Where did I fall?
Then I thought of my two best friends - the people that know me best in the world and the people I have shared my life with for years. Two beautiful, logical, rational realists. Of course. I’m their dreamer.
I thought back to moments in my life where I have felt unstoppable. Thought about moments of the purest joy. Thought about moments where I felt aligned with who I was and where I was and what I was doing. In each of those instances, I was dreaming.
Somehow that got lost. Somehow I folded to this narrative of my naivety. I was told I dreamed too big. That’s a hard place to live in - a space of misunderstanding.
But I thought to the people I hold closest to my heart. I thought of their realist tendencies. How they ground me. How they complement my whimsy with sensibility and patience and love.
You can only pretend to be something you aren’t for so long.
So sure. I’m dreamer through and through. I wholeheartedly believe in the world, in people, in love. I think perspectives can change with a walk in the park and that with a little time and a lot of herbal tea, most things are achievable. I believe in spontaneous adventures and uncharted territory and endless possibility.
Perhaps, though, the most important thing, now anyway, is that I’m starting to believe in me again. And I’m starting to dream.