Is it True? Is it Necessary? Is it Kind?
- Liz Buechele
- Jan 8, 2020
- 1 min read
United States radio host Bernard Meltzer ran an advice call-in show from 1967 through the 1990s. Bernard is accredited with the following quote:
“Before you speak ask yourself if what you are going to say is true, is kind, is necessary, is helpful. If the answer is no, maybe what you are about to say should be left unsaid.”
Similarly, there is a canonical quote in the Buddhist tradition that reads:
"Monks, a statement endowed with five factors is well-spoken, not ill-spoken. It is blameless & unfaulted by knowledgeable people. Which five?
It is spoken at the right time. It is spoken in truth. It is spoken affectionately. It is spoken beneficially. It is spoken with a mind of good-will.
A statement endowed with these five factors is well-spoken, not ill-spoken. It is blameless & unfaulted by knowledgeable people."
The international service organization, Rotary, also has a 4-way test that they use to guide personal and professional relationships. Of the things we think, say or do...
Is it the truth?
Is it fair to all concerned?
Will it build goodwill and better friendships?
Will it be beneficial to all concerned?
It’s really easy to not follow these tests. It’s really easy to say things out of anger or
frustration or jealousy.
In 2020, I want to do the hard work. Listen more and speak only if I can do so in a way that is truthful, necessary, and kind. Always.
Love always,
Liz
The reminder to ask “Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?” before speaking really stuck with me. It’s such a simple filter, but it could probably prevent a lot of misunderstandings both online and offline—something worth remembering even during casual breaks playing monkey mart.
A thoughtful reminder to choose words carefully. Asking whether something is true, kind, and useful is a simple but powerful guide.
I've been following this topic for a while, gamespa and I have to say your article offers one of the most balanced viewpoints I've encountered. The historical context you provided added valuable depth to the discussion. Thank you for taking the time to research and present this information so thoroughly. freegame:poxel-io,scooby-doo-creepy-run,stickman-rebirth,super-mario-bros-game.
This is such a powerful and timeless reminder. In a world where quick, reactive comments are the norm, pausing to ask these questions is a revolutionary act of kindness, both to others and to oneself. It's about choosing integrity over impulse.
Speaking of pressure and choices, it reminds me of the tension in the indie game Cheat or Repeat, where you face a constant moral test under the watchful eyes of strict teachers. Your post is a great real-world counterpart to that high-stakes scenario. Thanks for the thoughtful reflection
I like how the article uses that “true, necessary, kind” filter as a simple check before speaking—it sounds basic, but in real situations it’s actually hard to pause like that. I’ve caught myself oversharing before, so thinking of conversations as a kind of personal drive quest toward better habits really clicked. It’s a small mindset shift, but honestly pretty powerful.