What Qualities We Admire in Each Other

The other day, a friend asked a group of us what qualities we most admire in a friend, family member, or partner. Lots of qualities flashed in my mind and were reflected in my group’s responses—compassion, sense of humor, kindness, sense of justice, communicative, thoughtful, caring, good listener, sense of humor, adventurous, respectful, independent, willingness to be silly.

The first thing I thought of was not as easy to simplify. I shared that I admire people who make other people better with their presence… the kind of people who inspire us to be our best selves.

I don’t, of course, mean anyone who approaches things in a self-righteous, holier-than-thou way. I certainly don’t gravitate toward people who make me feel bad about myself or make me feel judged. 

But there are certain people—and I hope you are lucky to know at least one—who make you better every time you see them. It’s the friend who asks you about the project you’re working on that you mentioned in passing to them months ago. Or the friend who shares a book (or insert other sharable hobby item, recipe card, free art show, etc. here) because they think you’ll like it. Or the friend who, upon spending an hour with them, leaves your heart feeling lighter and your brain feeling calm.

I like people who inspire positive growth in other people just by the nature of who they are. It’s fun to feel like we can all be cheerleaders for one another.

It’s also the people who make you see the impossible as possible. I was talking to my partner about a problem I was having with technology—moreso venting about the fact that it was a beyond lost cause and I felt sad and defeated by it. 

Turns out it was a buried cause—tricky, but with the right tools, not impossible. 

Over the course of a few days and many crossed fingers, my partner figured it out. 

It’s the person who unlocks a door that you thought was permanently sealed shut. It’s the person who unlocks the door and then lets you walk through in your own way.   

May we all be so lucky to have people like this in our lives. And may we all strive to reflect those values back for the people we love.