Taking it Personal

I often batch Smile Project blogs. What I mean by that is that I’ll write “BLOG PARTY” in my planner and spend an entire Saturday morning writing a dozen or so blogs and scheduling them out for the website and social media. A quick aside: adding “PARTY” after anything you have to do immediately makes it 12x more exciting.

Because of this, there are occasionally things that get overlooked. For example, I once posted a blog dedicated to love on my ex’s birthday. I wouldn’t realize this for weeks and after I immediately felt that tickle of responsibility. Oh shoot. Did this look petty or intentional?

Anyone who has been around me for the past 11+ years and has watched me write a Happiness is is familiar with the occasional, “hey this doesn’t sound weird right?” I am excruciatingly mindful of trying to write in a way that can never be taken as inappropriate, weird, or innuendo, so much so that my partner frequently looks at me in disbelief that a potential Happiness is could ever be taken as anything but what it is.

And while I know it’s a bit over the top, I do feel a responsibility to the organization and to the wider community to make sure I am putting out things that I believe in and holding myself to a high standard. That’s why realizing that I’d published something that could have in a long shot stretch be seen as petty was immediately a face palm moment.

Of course, nothing came of this. Of course, it was fine. But it did make me realize one thing: sometimes things truly are just a coincidence.

It’s easy to take things personally or be hurt by actions or words that we feel are passive-aggressively directed at us. But are we sure they are? I mean are we really sure? Is there any chance that you could just be staring down a moment of bad timing?

Look, I get it. It can be tempting and fun to look for evidence that you were right or that you were wronged or that you were justified in whatever action you took. But don’t go so far as to read into clues that aren’t there. It’s not worth your peace. And it’s certainly not worth the unspoken hurt that comes from jumping to conclusions that have no solid ground.

Today, we invite you to see things for what they are and to be at peace with that. No need to read between the lines. And if you do feel unease, we invite you to move forward with a direct conversation. No need to delay your relief with empty assumptions. Assume the best of people. Give them a chance to show you that. No need to take it personally.