I have often found myself consoling others on the concept of love. I’ve listened and guided my friends through breakups and heartbreaks. I’ve seen girls return to unhealthy relationships simply because that was where they were comfortable. I’ve watched men put on a tough face as they watch their ex flirt with a new guy. And it hurts—to see your friends hurt.
But perhaps nothing pains me more than watching beautiful people undermine their worth to stick with someone who had convinced them that they were not enough.
I will speak now of a charming girl with whom I was well acquainted at one point in my life. She was perhaps one of the kindest, most beautiful girls I’d ever met. She greeted everyone with a genuine smile and an honest heart.
But I knew her better than most. I knew how poorly she viewed herself and I knew how hard it was for her to see herself as the rest of the world did. And so as a result of incredibly low self-worth, I saw her enter into relationships with men not deserving of her pure soul.
She dealt with the man who disappeared for long stretches of time, returning only when he needed something.
She dealt with the man who found it necessary to berate her physical beauty and mental virtues, focusing only on what was wrong.
She dealt with the man who viewed her as a sexual object—not satisfied until he received what he wanted.
She dealt with men who treated her poorly and each betrayal, each denial was worse than the last because she loved each of these men.
She believed in them and she cared for them and she would have done anything for them.
And as time went on this pain bore down on her until she was about to burst—unable to comprehend the cruelty of those who care not for anyone but themselves.
She loved them. So why couldn’t they love her? Why did it have to hurt like this?
And as we sat together one day, I repeated a line that had once been spoken to me:
“If you can love the wrong person that much, imagine how much you can love the right one."
And we sat there for a moment, taking in the sentiment of the statement.
Nobody wants to get hurt. Nobody yearns for heartbreak. Nobody has ever asked to be cheated on or used or taken advantage of. But sometimes, and often times to the least deserving, these things happen. And even more frequently, they happen no matter how hard or truly we love.
And even though it is exceptionally difficult to admit that they aren’t right for you…to walk away from someone you envisioned forever with, it’s important to realize that they aren’t it.
I know it hurts. But you need to take the love that you had for them, and put it into something else. Find something you are passionate about and dedicate some time to discovering yourself. You need to take care of you.
And in due time, the right person will come around. And imagine just how much love you will be able to show them.